Staying In The Honeymoon Phase
Aahhh..The honeymoon phase! What’s there not to love about it?
A honeymoon phase in a brand new relationship would even make the air seem crisper, you find beauty and art in a splat of mud and suddenly it would feel impossible to have a bad day.
Why?Because there’s someone at the other end just waiting to make your happiness their entire life’s mission, just like you. Let’s face it, it’s the best part of the relationship, is being smitten over each other. You every word and movement of that person is nothing short of a beautiful symphony. So when exactly all that start fade and sort of reach it’s expiration date?
According to experts, there is no fixed duration on when the honeymoon phase ends, it’s around the time when both parties stop putting in the effort that was there in the beginning of the relationship. We cannot agree more! Just like how a real honeymoon ends when you buy a ticket back home, the honeymoon phase too ends when YOUR actions supports it.
According to Clinical Psychologist, Dr.Rachel Levenson, did a study on this. When you’re in love, dopamine activates the reward and pleasure circuits in the brain, resulting in feelings of elation and high energy.
But it’s not all about the brains when it comes to the matter of the hearts.
Honeymoon phase is just made up of little happiness that somewhere along the line either one or both of you take for granted. When relationships progress and couples fall into the comfort zone where you stop making the efforts that you once made like writing letters to each other, leaving love notes around the house or spontaneous romantic gestures without waiting for birthdays or Valentine’s Day. Now your routine is staying on the couch and ordering takeout. Which is fine to wind down once in awhile, but not as a ROUTINE.
So, how to get that butterflies up and flying along with the sparks?
1. The Appreciation
After being together for some time and pampering each other, some couples don’t find the necessity to say “Thank you” to each other or acknowledge their actions. Although this might seem like a “I don’t have to say it, I’m sure they know it” situation, it is important to ensure your partner HEARS it. You can do this by leaving notes for each other or making it a habit to say 5 things you appreciate about each other before you go to bed. Sounds corny? It’s okay, it’s worth it.
2. Personal Space
This does not mean it’s the first step of growing apart, but it’s just a little space for you and your partner to miss each other a little. When you find a bad pun or an inside joke you want to share and you notice the person is not around, it makes you appreciate them a little more. Well, if you don’t then there’s a whole other to look into (yikes!)
And not just about memes. Know each other’s goals, fear and dream. Be each other’s #1 fan and encourage your partner’s dreams. They could have a bunch of people telling them how much potential they have but hearing it from you would certainly give a different level of confidence.
Learn to talk about issues and problems too, instead of fighting and getting defensive, take a moment to understand where they’re coming from and learn to respond instead of react. Remember, that’s your partner not your enemy so it ALWAYS you & them vs. the problem never you vs. them.
Honeymoon phase is everything it’s set out to be but what comes after that has its own sweetness by itself. As fun as the early stages of the relationship are, long term relationship that makes you fall in love over and over again with the same person brings a completely different essence into your life. And that's the best honeymoon stage, the one that lasts forever.
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