Dating or the art of asking someone out has changed so much over the time. 20 or 30 years ago, getting someone’s number would be one of the biggest challenges one would have to go through in terms of dating. It’s not like that now, with apps and online “hook-up stations” made so convenient and available, going back to the so-called traditional way of getting up the nerve to ask someone’s number feels almost alien.
If it’s a stranger on the street or at the club, you can just brush it off and try your luck with the next one but what if it’s in an office Christmas party where you risk having to see or work with the person? You will need to tread lightly because the repercussion can be long-term, which means you would probably have to look over your shoulders more than a few times before you can get a refill on your coffee mug to avoid that awkward encounter. So, here are a few ways to avoid that undesired cringe, a.k.a asking for their number without making a fool out of yourself (which we have ALL been a victim to).
You’re at your office party and a guy or a girl caught your eye, you know he/she works there so you need to be decent in planning the next move so what you do? The classic “drag your friend”. In any setting, when you’re pulling this move, it is key to find someone who shares a common ground or a link to connect you through.
So, step one would be to find that friend or acquaintance to be there for the first contact to get their walls down. Once you’ve established that first contact then unleash that charm of yours to make them wonder “Who is this person and why haven’t I met him/ her this whole time”.
Do keep in mind that this is the first contact so don’t push too much to the fact they feel smothered. Suggest an activity you should do in a group (including the poor soul that introduced you guys) then get his/ her number to “keep them posted”. I would strongly advise to actually plan something (at least for now) so that you don’t come across as a creep that was just focusing on scoring their number, besides, playing a little hard to get definitely spices up the chase.
As much as people think rom-coms are suggestively lame and cliché, somewhere deep down inside there’s a little part of them yearning for it. As heartless as it sounds, EXPLOIT IT.
Walk up straight to them and put up a challenge. For an example, “Hey, wanna play a game? Cause nobody else would take up the challenge.”
This may seem like a harmless and almost lost line but there are many layers to it.
- It shows the playful side of you.
- When you say “nobody else would take up the challenge”, it would subconsciously strike their curiosity which would help engage in the flow of the conversation.
- It is highly unlikely for them to say no because like it or not, our ego is something in ourselves that needs constant fuelling. One way or another they will want to be up for the challenge.
3. Suggest something to do another day
The drinks are flowing as well as the conversation but you don’t want to come off too strong and overconfident but at the same time, you reeeaalllyyy want the digits. Plan an activity for another day (this isn’t like #1). For an example, since Christmas is coming up, tell them their taste would be perfect help in choosing a present for your sister/ brother (DO NOT say friend because it gives them ample of space to speculate). This way, you don’t only get their number AND a possible date but also get to show how thoughtful you are as a person (just make sure you DO buy that present.)
4. Be the photographer
God bless social media! Whether it’s stalking your ex in discrete or using it as an excuse to get someone’s number, social media is always there as a loyal sidekick. No party is complete without a bunch of pictures to validate how awesome of a party it was. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is your golden ticket.
Establish yourself as the “unofficial photographer” in the setting, take loads of pictures and make sure the person notices it (not just their pictures alone though, that would be SUPER creepy!). When the party is about to end, casually and I mean CASUALLY ask for their number to share the pictures.
One of the speedbumps you might come across is “Oh just share it in the company group, I’ll get it from there.” To this you reply, “I’m not sure if some of them are appropriate for that” (even if it is). Odds are they would not want to take the chances and just give you their number instead.
5. Food to the rescue!
Observational skill is key to this approach. Yes, you have to be a momentary stalker. See what is on their plate or which beverage they are enjoying the most. Then strike up a conversation about it like, “The shrimps are pretty good huh” if they are a foodie, it is highly unlikely they could walk away from a conversation like that.
Once you’ve got that ball rolling, tell them there’s a place that serves “the best” whatever food/ drink you’re talking about.
Probabilities are they would disagree and come up with their own suggestion of a place that serves the best whatever. Now, if only there’s a way to settle that debate… *wink*
It is soooo important that you don’t suggest a get-together right off the bat to settle the argument. Keep the playful banter going for most of the night and finally say, the only way to settle the argument is to judge it for yourselves….guess who has the number AND a date!
6. Just go for it
This is one option that most people don’t really consider an option. I’m not saying just harass them for their number, but if you feel confident enough and you’d prefer to be a straight arrow then, by all means, do not hold yourself back from expressing your interest in a person.
Even if they say no, for someone who is bold enough to ask for a number straightforward, I’m pretty sure you’d have the ability to defuse the awkwardness in the aftermath if there were to be one. So yes, being transparent and asking for a person’s number IS a very available option.
No matter how old or established we are, something about approaching someone with a romantic idea in our mind can and most likely WILL be unnerving. So eventually, it comes down to whether you want to take a shot at a “what if” OR go home wondering about it till you fall asleep then having DOUBT for breakfast. What’s life without a little risk, right? So just Feliz Navi-DO IT!
Lunch Actually is filled with Cupids who are always there to make dates happen between two strangers, who may potentially become life partners!
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