When you’re committed to a relationship, you’ll have to expect the good and the bad things that come with it. It’s all in a package that you’ll have to be willing to carry once you’re in it. The goods include someone celebrating your birthday with you, someone to hold your hand, someone to kiss you goodnight, and a supporter who will always be by your side even when the whole world is against you.
Now, the ‘bads’. The smallest of all would be tiny disagreements on where to eat, bad habits that you can’t stand, and maybe even forgetting your 2-year anniversary. However, the biggest ‘bad’ that you have to learn how to embrace is the ‘breakup’. When things no longer go right, and 80% of the time you’re feeling sad in the relationship, it’s time to let go.
It’s tough, even uttering the words, “I think I want to break up with you” because you’re no longer happy anymore with them is difficult. But, you have to know this, millions of people in the world are going through the same thing as you, so don’t worry, we’ll guide you on how to overcome heartbreak. As the new year is on its way, it's the perfect moment to embrace what's coming ahead: a year that is filled with new possibilities and opportunities.
We'll get through this together okay?
1. Remove. Delete.
You miss that person who was once very special to you. You want to see them so much, and the quickest way to do it is on your phone, through social media. Their username is already saved in your brain and you automatically type it out without even having to think. Listen, don’t do it.
What is the point? The more you see the person, the more you are unable to let go because you keep holding on to the past. The best way is to clear your search history, remove him or her from your contact list, Facebook, Twitter or any other social media platforms and move on. As the saying goes, “When a door closes, another opens.” Only after you truly let go of the past, then you can open up to new opportunities that come your way.
Not just travel with anyone, but travel solo. Of course, it’s alright to travel with a friend, but you’ll get to overcome heartbreak easily and the most effectively when you travel alone. Travelling alone is not only a time to discover new places, it’s also a time for you to discover yourself once again.
It’s even better if you get lost while travelling because as you find your way back, you’ll know what you are capable of in difficult situations. On your journey, don’t be afraid to ask for help. The people whom you will meet along this journey are sometimes capable of giving you a fresh, new perspective towards the world. Plus, you’ll be building international connections!
It’s also a way to see how crazy you are willing to go on a once-in-a-lifetime adventure. The list is never-ending, keep your options wide open, and you’ll see yourself in a different light.
After a wonderful solo trip, you’re bound to gain new self-confidence that you probably haven’t experienced before. Enjoy it and make sure to flash that confidence in everything you do!
3. Surround yourself with your loved ones.
With a broken heart, one of the best ways to heal is to talk to friends and family about your problems. Instead of keeping it to yourself and not knowing what to do, share your problems with people who care. If you don’t feel like telling your family, then tell your friends, and vice versa.
You can expect them to listen to you, cheer you up and give you advice on what to do next. It will definitely make you feel better and help you decide how to deal with this heartbreak.
4. Reorganise your living space.
It can be your room or a home that you once stayed together. Reorganise it and give it a new look! In this sense, the term “minimalist” would be a great help. Keep it simple and clean because less is more. When you see your ex’s stuff, think of how you don’t need it anymore, and how you want to keep the space as minimal as possible, so throw them away!
If a sock, a photograph or a pair of couple hats no longer mean anything to you, say goodbye to them! “To forgive is to forget”, so the way you’re throwing these items is a way to leave the past behind. Don’t try to retain the memories, move on as it’s better to let the bad feelings go. Sadness and anger only bring negative effects to your body in the long run, so why harm yourself when he or she may have moved on and become a better version of themselves? You, too, should overcome heartbreak and move on in your own way.
5. Pick up something new.
When you were in a relationship, you try to make more time for your other half. Even though there are activities that you would like to learn or get involved in, you try to delay or postpone that because you care more about spending time with each other.
However, now that you’re alone, it’s time to go to that body combat class you’ve always wanted to join. No more saying “next time” and “another day”, the time is now. It’s a great opportunity to learn a new skill, gain knowledge in a subject you’re interested in and spend all that extra time that you currently have. Find joy in doing activities that you like instead of weeping over the breakup.
It’s a chance to improve yourself as a person, so give it your best!
6. Start dating again.
Not because you need a replacement, but because you want somebody to help you heal. The support and comfort that you can only get from a romantic partner should be the main reason to go back to dating.
Nevertheless, don’t rush into a relationship just because you can’t handle being alone and just need any person to replace your ex. Find someone whom you want to have a future with, not a temporary replacement. A broken heart is necessary to feel the pain, which is crucial to heal and grow. And along the way, meeting a person who makes you want to grow helps the healing journey.
We’re sure you’ve learned some lessons in your past relationship, so you’re capable of being a better lover now. Whether it’s becoming more mature, more considerate or kinder, these characteristics are some of the ingredients to a lasting relationship.
When you’re ready to move on (no rush!), Lunch Actually will be here for you. Don’t be afraid to love again. Give our dating consultants a call, and we’ll guide you in moving on to a new year, and a new relationship.
Happy New Year!