Wondering why you aren’t getting second dates? Have a quick read of our potential reasons, we bet you’ll spot
something familiar in there:
There could be any number of reasons why you aren’t getting second dates but are getting plenty of first dates. When you’re in a position of going on enough first dates we can assume the following:
- You’re attractive and make a good enough first impression that you win a date
- By the end of the first date something has happened; which leads to you not about to get a second date
So, what could have gone wrong? Let’s see:
Nobody likes a self-deprecating date
If you’re in a position where you’re already getting lots of first dates, but then being rejected for second dates - then you might be feeling a little low.
You’ll be highly aware of your flaws and it becomes all too simple to point these out aloud. Trust us when we say that doing this on a first date is not the right time.
Your date doesn’t want to hear about all your bad features. They want to see you in your best light. Do yourself a favor and get it all out with a friend or at home before going on the date. Sing your praises (without being arrogant) and focus on what makes you great!
Basically, being negative is a no-no. Complaining about everything under the sun is another huge turn-off for any dates; but especially so for first dates!
Don’t write them off
If you’ve gotten to the point of organizing a date; it means there was something there at the beginning. Don’t begin to write them off before you get to the date. Give them a chance and bring your A game. If you’ve already begun to write them off you won’t be your best self and the date is doomed to fail before it has started. If it’s something you really can’t get over, then ask yourself, should you be going on the date at all?
Put the phone down
Trust us when we say put the phone down. Your Instagram followers can wait. You don’t need to tweet about your food right now. Your status update can be put on hold. Your friends will wait.
Being on your phone whilst trying to have a conversation is just about one of the biggest red flags that you can put up. It shows a complete lack of respect for the other person, shows that you’re not interested in what they have to say and that you’d rather be talking with someone else.
Just put it down.
Ex’s are history
Another big red flag is when someone on a date talks a lot about their ex. It leaves the other person wondering if you’re over them, if you’re still in love with them or if you’re ready to be in the dating scene. Even if you’re complaining about them, it’s just not the right time or the right place to bring them up. Leave the ex’s in the history. Or better yet, forget about them completely.
Dating as expected
If you’ve gone out for dinner, you should expect to eat. If you’ve organized a bar meet up, you should probably drink. The setting of the date sets the standard of what both parties are expecting. If you act out of the ordinary then you’ll put your date off. Not an alcohol drinker or worried about drinking too much? Then organize a café date!
Play it cool
This is the age-old adage and it’s still relevant today. We’re not about to say you should wait x days before calling etc, but there is some truth in playing it cool. During the date don’t be over eager, even if they’re completely awesome. Take your time, subtly let them know that you’re enjoying yourself but don’t throw yourself across the table on the first date. It’s just undignified.
So there you go, the 6 reasons you're not getting those second dates. So the next time meet someone new for a first date - remember these points and do not make these mistakes. You'll be on your way to scoring those second dates if you show your best-self forward!