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How to Overcome First Date Anxiety: Expert Tips from Lunch Actually


Pro Matchmakers Know Best! Our Tips for Beating First Date Anxiety

With a little coaching, first date anxiety will become a thing of the past.

The excitement of organizing a date to meet someone new is such a great feeling, but have you thought about how to overcome first date anxiety? The butterflies in your stomach and the guesswork about what your date will be like are great, but you don’t want nerves to get in the way of showing your best self.

With so much competition in the dating scene these days you need to make a great impression from the minute you walk in the door. Here are our top tips for keeping those butterflies in check and making your first date a huge success.

Don’t fixate on the date!

Yes, you might just meet the love of your life! Maybe you’ll live happily ever after and spend your retirement sitting together watching your grandchildren play! If that happens then that’s great, and good for you. But, so what if it doesn’t? Don’t pile pressure onto the date to be the ’perfect’ event. If you get on well then that’s great, and you can look forward to date number two. But if you don’t click with your date then it really doesn’t matter, and you can just put it down to experience. There’s always the next one to look forward to!

What matters most is that you spend time together where you’ll both be comfortable being your natural selves. If you want some ideas, we did the brainstorming for you. Here’s over a dozen fun first date ideas that aren’t just the typical movies or going for drinks.

Give yourself plenty of time to get ready.

Now, you don’t need to spend five hours in the spa if that’s not what you normally do, but you don’t want to be rushing around in the lead-up to your date. A stressed preparation makes a stressed person and that’s the last thing you want! Chill out at home, take a shower and build in time to choose what you want to wear. Dressing sharp to make a memorable first impression puts you miles ahead of everyone else. However, your aim is to take it easy and prepare yourself for a pleasant time. You’ll walk in to your date like a zen master and set the right tone from the get go.

Talk to yourself about how great you are to get past insecurity.

This might sound silly, but talking to yourself out loud is a great way to get into the right mindset for a successful date and it will really help you to combat that first date anxiety. If you’re a fan of positive mantras then why not repeat phrases like ‘I am a beautiful person’ or ‘I am calm, confident and happy’ in a mirror until you feel your brain start to accept the words as truth. If that sounds a bit full-on for you then try just asking a few questions out loud to hear how the words sound; trust us, it can be really calming to rehearse a couple of conversation-starters in advance. When you arrive on your date you’ll be warmed up and ready to go!

overcome first date anxiety by talking yourself up

Don’t be afraid of small talk!

There will always be the temptation to try and learn everything you possibly can about your date in the first five minutes of meeting them, but you really don’t have to. Lessen the anxiety about what kind of person they are by accepting that you’re going to take time to get to know them. If they want to talk about the weather then great, let them. They’re probably nervous too and there will be plenty of time to get into the big issues like family, religion and work later once you’ve spent a bit more time together. For now, just try and work out if you click. If you get on well then you’ll learn all about them soon enough!

Get a haircut for an extra confidence boost.

The power of a good hair day cannot be overstated! If you look good then you feel good, and if you feel good then you come across as someone who is poised, happy and a pleasure to be around. If you want to arrive at your first date with a spring in your step then consider getting a haircut for an extra confidence boost. Not only will it make you look a million dollars but psychologically it can also be very helpful, as a new haircut helps you to feel refreshed and like you can ‘relaunch’ yourself. Your date won’t know why you’re looking so radiant but they’ll like it all the same!

get a hair cut for a confidence boost to beat first date anxiety

Our Final Advice on Overcoming First Date Anxiety

If we could leave you with just one piece of advice on how to overcome first date anxiety, it would be to relax and be yourself. Your date will no doubt be nervous too and there’s no pressure for this to be the romance of a lifetime; all you really need to do is enjoy yourself and meet someone new. If you follow our simple rules then before you know it you’ll be having a great time and organizing date number two. Have fun!

Meta Description: With just a little bit of prep time and self-awareness, first date anxiety can be defeated. Here are Lunch Actually’s expert tips for getting over it:


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