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4 Techniques to Start Loving Yourself


Love is a beautiful, intricate dance, but there's a secret to it. You can't fully embrace the love of another without first cradling your own heart. And don't we all secretly long for a love story of epic proportions? Well, it starts with you, in the most ordinary and extraordinary way. Here are 4 techniques to start loving yourself.

The Value in All of Us

Think about it – when you meet someone new, your mind instantly calculates a "value." Superficial as it sounds, we subconsciously assess appearance, presentation, career, and confidence. It's the dating currency we all trade. It's like choosing between a Chanel handbag and an H&M one when money's not the issue.

Loving yourself isn't about vanity; it's about presenting your best self. But some of us resist this idea. We say, "This is me, take it or leave it." It's a valid stance, but the world is judgmental. We can't help but make snap judgments. So how do we start loving ourselves?

Priority Number One: You

Do you cherish yourself enough to put your best foot forward? Loving yourself takes many forms, but one key aspect is how you present yourself. It's about taking care of yourself.

Loving yourself also means putting yourself first. Imagine this: you're all set to say 'I do' at the Registry of Marriage, but your fiancé suddenly hesitates. What would you do?

In a survey, 60% of women in the same situation gave their fiancés an ultimatum: marry me, or else. They wouldn't let these men shatter their lives.

Some women would give their fiancé some time, understanding that marriage is more than ink on paper. What truly matters is their love. What would you do?

Many women spend years with partners who dismiss marriage as just a piece of paper. But here's the catch: men's market value doesn't decline with age, but women have a ticking clock. Every year spent with a time-waster is one less year to find someone serious. Love yourself, put yourself first, set a timeline or an ultimatum, and if they won't commit, move on. This advice applies to men too.

Finding Joy in Your Own Company

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"Are you happy?" It's a delicate question, one we rarely ask unless we're close to someone. In our fast-paced world, happiness seems fleeting. We associate it with promotions, raises, weight loss, or finding 'the one.' We even entrust our happiness to others, expecting them to make us happy with a simple text reply.

But we're dealing with a species not always attuned to our emotional needs. If you hinge your happiness on someone else's actions, prepare for disappointment.

People are drawn to happiness, not to those who wait for someone to make them happy. You can spot happiness from a mile away. The person who laughs, smiles, and radiates joy is the most attractive in the room.

The Conversation Inside Your Head

Our minds are relentless talkers. We never cease our inner dialogue. Did you know that every thought triggers psychological and physical reactions? It's like focusing on black objects and struggling to see the green ones when asked. If you keep thinking, "All good men are friendzoned," your eyes will be half-shut to opportunities.

What's your internal dialogue on attachment and marriage? Your thoughts influence your reality. Changing your self-talk from negative to positive is crucial. For example:

Negative Talk:

"I don't need a man. All the good ones are taken."

"Marriage is a financial burden."

"No woman wants to be with me. I'll be friendzoned forever."

Positive Talk:

"There's a man out there who complements me perfectly."

"Marriage is building a financial future together."

"There's a woman out there who wants me to be her boyfriend."

Place these affirmations where you'll see them daily. Or, record them and play them as you fall asleep. Osmosis may not work for exams, but it works for self-love.

We're all human, and negative thoughts sneak in. When they do, consciously erase them. If you think, "I'll never succeed," say 'delete' and replace it with, "I will succeed through perseverance."

The Power of Mindset

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So, what's the ultimate secret to dating success? It's not about looks or table manners. It's all in the mindset.

Clients who find love share a common trait: they're positive, optimistic, and content in their own skin. They go on dates with open minds and positive attitudes. They're eager to meet new people, without the weight of marriage expectations.

Whether it's dating, career, or life success, it's all about mindset. Our mindset shapes our reality and our inner dialogue. Even if you change your self-talk, if your mindset doesn't follow, you'll revert to square one.

Two mindsets can help you attract the right partner:

  • Believing the world is a favorable place for you.
  • Recognizing your power to create positive change.

Some believe the opposite – the world is against them, and they're powerless. Their thoughts echo this negativity. Over time, their perception becomes reality.

So, begin by loving yourself. To find your "happily ever after," you must be the right one, meet the right one, and choose the right one. And it all begins with being the right one.

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