5 Proven Ways to Get You Better at Dating
You know how just after New Year, you join a gym and are super excited to finally fulfill that resolution?
You got yourself brand new workout clothes, yoga mats, shoes, you name it. Then overtime it starts to feel like it's too much work and not enough results. So you tend to come up with reasons to maybe skip working out once or twice then eventually, without even realizing it, your gym bag is buried deep in the car boot...Dating is very much like that.
You start off crazy excited with all the expectation and possibilities built up in your head (thanks Katherine Heigl!) Then as time goes by you start feeling pointless because according to your timeline you should have already met “The One” and be getting on to the next step. I mean if you’re doing everything right, then what’s wrong?
I don’t know what’s wrong but I’m gonna tell you how to get it right! Ready? LET’S GO!
1. Date! Date! Date!
You start off crazy excited with all the expectation and possibilities built up in your head (thanks Katherine Heigl!) Then as time goes by you start feeling pointless because according to your timeline you should have already met “The One” and be getting on to the next step. I mean if you’re doing everything right, then what’s wrong?
Dating is all about the numbers game. The more you go out and meet people, the more you learn (and get better at) dating. It’s basic science, really. You gain experience when you’re exposed to something long and often, in this case, DATES. Don’t downgrade yourself especially if people get “judgy” and start labeling you for going out with many people on many dates. It’s YOUR journey. Plus, you can never please everyone so just stick to keeping yourself happy at least.
2. Embrace the good and the bad
Stop putting so much pressure on dates. In fact, get the whole “The One” idea out of your mind. When you go for dates there are bound to be good ones (doesn’t mean you need to marry them right away) and more importantly bad ones too. Sure, the “good” dates really help to build up your confidence but to be honest, you’ll learn a whole lot more experiencing the bad ones (don’t go looking for it exclusively though!) Through the bad dates, you'll know what you can't tolerate, and what you certainly do not want in your future partner!
Besides, it’ll make a really good story for the next person you’re on a date with. Win-win!
3. Know who you are
It’s normal to get excited when you meet someone that shows a slight ray of normal-ness that fits you. But there are going to be differences. Some people tend to try and change themselves to dissolve the differences. DON’T.
The best part about getting to know someone is how both your personalities could complement each other. I’m sure at one point or another we’re all guilty of pretending to like a band or food the other person likes just to seem like you’re so in-sync, that’s fine. What I’m saying is don’t let go of the very essence of who you are just to seem compatible because one way or another the real you will eventually come out and things might just get messier than it needed to be.
In this case, honesty definitely IS the best policy. Especially when you’re looking for something long term.
4. ….& what you want
Before you set yourself up on this path, make sure you know what you want. Don’t do it out of boredom, don’t do it cause all your friends are in a relationship, don’t do it cause holiday season is coming up and sure as heck don’t do it because your Dominos coupon is too much for one person (there’s no such thing as too much pizza!)
If you’re looking for something casual, it’s fine. If you want something serious, that’s fine too. What’s not fine is pretending to be okay with what you’re getting when it’s clearly not what you want. Don’t waste your time and energy saying “it could change” because what you're gonna do till then? Besides, isn't the whole point of dating is to see genuine compatibility?
5. Enrich yourself
When you go on a date, you’re both presenting yourself, mentally, physically and emotionally. So what are you presenting besides your name and your job? You need to enrich yourself and broaden your horizon. One way to do is is by going for travel. When you meet people and experience different cultures and ways of life it will help you reflect and grow as a person.
And you’ll have great stories to share on your date (just don’t come across as a brag.) Don’t like going out and travelling? That’s okay. READ then. I don’t know about you but when I see someone reading a book (e-book works too too) instead of scrolling through their phone…damn! You have my undivided attention you beautifully cultured human!
Isn't it more attractive when you meet someone with a lot of passions and interests?
But you know, don’t do it just to pose. What I’m trying to say is, you need to build yourself up before you go looking for someone to join you in your dating journey. Be the best version of yourself to put out there!
So loves, if you’re feeling down and rusty when it comes to dating, pick yourself up, dust them shoulders, and focus on the end goal. You might be one date away from reaching it!
Score great dates with people who are already screened and handpicked for you! Just start here and all you gotta do is enjoy the date!
Recommended posts
Decoding Attachment Styles: Understanding How They Shape Your Relationships
Unlocking the Mystery: What to Expect When Dating an Introvert
Being single on Valentine’s Day? Why Not!