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MARIE CLAIRE RELATIONSHIP專欄:別為麵包放棄幸福


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作為Lunch Actually的創辦人,我見過不少的女士以男士的收入作為最重要的擇偶條件,單單因為她們認為金錢可以帶給她們穩定的生活及安全感。其實每個人心中都有自己的擇偶清單,合情合理。以我的經驗來說,男士大多較重視外表,女士則看重男士的自信、主見及經濟狀況,當然賺得愈多見就愈見理想。

約會收入比你低的男士有何不可?既然你能夠經濟獨立,為何還要他經濟上照料你的一切?他有機會能給予你意想不到的幸福;他可能更愛你,更懂你,更包容你,甚至愛你的家人,愛你的缺點。

1 – 心態決定一切

在約會高收入的男士前,不妨先問問自己設下這擇偶條件的原因。我經常建議身邊的單身人士寫下8個擇偶條件,從中選出3個絕不可少的條件,然後再作比較。你會發現,原來金錢並不是愛情最重要的考慮因素。

 

2 - 不要讓收入左右自己遇上合適的人

不少女士會即時在初次約會後決定對方是否適合自己,要是男士未能吸引自己或收入未夠高,她們便會馬上「落閘」。我常鼓勵單身女士要多給自己機會去好好認識一位男士,一次的約會不足以讓你了解對方的價值觀。

 

3 – 不完美的外在條件也可以是完美伴侶

建立一段關係需要雙方的付出、磨合、信任等,所以遇上一個想法相近的對象是十分重要的。

也不妨問問自己,有高收入的男士等於他一定會愛惜你、是一位好伴侶嗎?他可以會,但更有可能不會。

對象的好壞不應由外在條件定奪,而是這人跟你有相似的價值觀及目標。你還會漸漸發現尊重、忠誠、態度才是建立一段長遠關係的關鍵。高學歷、高收入永遠不能決定一段關係是否幸福美滿。同時地,當男士要發展一段長遠關係的時候,女士是否善良、她的家庭觀念及價值觀才是男士的真正考慮因素,即管投入並享受約會,多花時間去了解對象的個性吧。


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