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愛自己,就是令戀人關係變好的捷徑 (上)


一對男女,由相識到相愛到拍拖,是一個認識對方的過程,也是一個認識自己的過程。若要從這兩個過程中,找到相對的「好處」,認識對方的過程中你可以知道對方的喜好,吃的、穿的、說的、看的、談的、想的……找尋跟對方相處之道,為將來的良好相處找個「方程式」,如果以結婚為大前提而拍拖,那這過程就更加重要了。

然而,相對要認識對方、迎合對方,其實,認識自己也是非常重要的過程。例如,當對方說要去吃日本菜,而你發現自己有一絲不願意浮過,那麼,捉緊這感覺,好好記住,原來自己不太愛吃日本菜。又例如,有兩套電影可選,對方說要看動作電影,而你發現自己有把聲音在內心說:「看愛情電影不是更好嗎?」,即使只有一閃而過的想法,也要好好捉緊自己的喜好。

為甚麼呢?

因為,當你愈了解自己,才會愈減低自己對外界的不滿。如果你明明愛吃意大利菜、愛看愛情電影,每天每夜的卻硬生生遷就對方,漸漸你會變得不開心,或者有一股不知名怒火從心中開始燃燒,不滿的感覺稍稍夾在兩人之間,慢慢地,影響你對對方的感覺與愛,你開始發覺與對方好像步伐不一致,你覺得對方不是理想對像,對大家的未來不抱半點信心,你怕一生都是這樣不滿、不快樂地過,然後你發覺自己不愛對方了,你想分手,你要活得更好。

(待續)


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