Okay, so you’ve dated for three years and now you’re ready to get hitched. You’ve done all the preparations and even planned out the proposal (which is gonna be done through serenading a song by the hill), but it dawned on you again. You’re non-Singaporean. She’s Singaporean. What should you do to ensure the marriage would take place in a breeze? Is there something you’re missing?
…or, you’re planning to marry a Singaporean girl but don’t know where to start. Take this as our little gift to set you back on track and remind you of what’s more to be done (if you haven’t already). But we’ll get to the nitty gritty for you so you’ll know what to expect when marrying a Singaporean girl!
1. Know the difference
Singapore is a melting pot. The different ethnicities of women, mainly the Malay, Chinese and Indian, have their respective similarities as well as unique differences. You might want to start doing some research about the formalities during a Chinese wedding, or the traditions that you would have to incorporate into the nikah ceremony with your Malay partner. Knowing what to say and act could make a huge difference, and it’s something worth investing your time in. Learn each other’s differences and appreciate them, for differences bring a more unique touch to a wholesome relationship.
2. Love over religion?
Since you’re aware of the different Singaporean cultures, you’ll have to accept the fact of converting to a Muslim if you’re marrying a Malay girl. And have your name changed while you’re at it too. These sacrifices have to be made and certainly for some, are not that easy. If you’re marrying an Indian girl, you might have to practice their faith as well. But love always wins. If your love with each other is strong enough, adapting to religious differences shouldn’t be a problem.
3. Her parents’ opinion on you is important
Talk to her parents. Even if there might be difficulties in choosing topics to talk about, or they may still seem scary to be approached, most of the time the parents are actually willing to communicate if you just open up. Learn your way around topics to discuss, and have an open mind about what they might have to say about you (without making unfair assumptions). You might never know that getting your girl’s hand in marriage could actually be a lot easier if you have the parents’ permission.
4. Her friends’ opinions are equally important
Friends are important people in your life. And of course, you’d have to value their help and their opinions as well. These are the people who could help make your proposal a success, so it’s vital not to leave them out of the equation. Take time to communicate with them, and appreciate the friendship they have with your girlfriend, because that would not only make her feel more valued, but could also be a gateway for rich friendships to be developed.
5. Creating a strong bond with her family and friends
…or at least, make a good impression whenever you see them. If you always see her nephew around, make the effort to talk to him so he’ll be comfortable with you (even if you may not like kids). Her best friends may not be that bad after all, if you manage to get to know them better. Talk to her dad about his favourite sport, and even join him for a game of squash. This inevitably improves relationships, and it’ll make a lasting impression in the eyes of her family and friends.
6. Doing the necessary documentations
Well, depending on which country you’re originating from, it is highly important for you to be applying for the necessary legal steps. You will need to head to the embassy, apply for a social visit pass, prepare your passport photocopies and a bunch of other detailed checklist forms, among other things. Though it’s far more complex for a non-Singaporean to get married here, but once you’re done with all the steps, it wouldn’t be so difficult after all!
7. Respect, communicate, trust
This is no rocket science, guys. Remember, Singaporean girls are human beings like you and I too. They’re not all going to be as materialistic as you think they are. Show dedication; prove it to her and to each other that you guys can go the distance. At the end of the day, it really just comes down to the both of you, so if these factors are highly prioritized in the relationship, things should work out fine.
8. Plan 200%.
…because, well, nothing comes easy and certainly not for marriages as well. If you think weddings in Singapore are cheap, think again. It could go from RM 80,000 and beyond, depending on other factors like the location, brands, budget and etc. So it’s relatively important for you both to plan out accordingly, after all, it’s a once-in-a-lifetime thing, so why not make the best out of it while you can? ☺
9. It will all be worth it.
Think of the days you’ll get to wake up with her next to you, or when you’re coming back from work after a long day and there’s already dinner being served on the table. Marriage can be a wonderful thing and an exciting journey ahead of your lives, so remind yourself that all the trouble would definitely be worth it in the end.
10. Just love her.
“A woman brought you into this world, so you have no right to disrespect one.” -Tupac
Treat a woman right, and she’ll bless you with twofold of love and respect. To be fair, everyone wants to love and to be loved, so why not be your best self and share your experiences with that beautiful woman by loving her the best way you can? Since dating and marriage are two different stages of life, each could bring you different ideologies of joy. Make a vow to yourself to cherish her as your wife, and to appreciate her as much as you did when you first dated her.
We hope you had a thorough view of Singaporean marriages through this article, and do leave us some comments if you think we’re missing something. Remember, don’t be afraid of the steps you’ll need to take in order to make her your wife. Singapore is full of interracial couples, so just reach out to Lunch Actually if you’re still in need of a helping hand!