“You’re an Asian, you must be good in math.”
“You’re a girl, how can you drive so well?”
“Not many people make it in the music world, look for a job that’s more stable.”
We might (or not) realize how labels are certain expectations that are pinned on us since birth. Sure, some are to encourage us to be “successful” but the question is, successful under whose standards? How do you define success?
Number of dates/ phone numbers you score?
Pleasing everyone around you?
Or on a more relatable realm, the number of followers on our Instagram?
Growing up, we could color a bear pink, a monkey with wings and the sun with a face. All that would be greeted with a smile and a praise saying how creative you are. Overtime, slowly but surely, one by one, we are starting to be bound by rules. Color inside the line, use only black pen and a bunch of other things that are made to sound like the survival of the world depends on it.
Next thing you know that part of child of us starts to think about things that we SHOULD do instead of things we CAN do.
The saddest part of it is along the way we tend to lose the little things that makes us happy, the little things that make us….us.
We know it’s happening, and we know it’s a cycle that would probably be carried on to the next generation, so why aren’t we breaking it? Why is the importance of being happy equally pressed upon as getting a job or being married at a certain age?
What makes you happy? What’s stopping you from being happy? What are you doing to overcome that? These are the questions we tend to let fall off the basket along our journey in life.
In the recent speech by BTS leader RM (real name Kim Namjoon) in front of the United Nations at the launch of UN’s Youth 2030, he spoke about how he tried to jam himself into the molds that other people made.
"But today, I am who I am with all my faults and mistakes. These faults and mistakes are what I am, making up the brightest stars in the constellation of my life. I have come to love myself for who I am, for who I was, and for who I hope to become."
(Watch the full video above)
I want you to give yourself a break. Don’t let go of the dream that once kept you awake and excited. There are going to be people in your life giving you a million reasons to not go for it BUT the one reason that matters is YOU. Fight for the magic that sparks inside you. Don’t be so quick to run to safety because we all meet our maker eventually so at the death bed would want to say you led a safe and secure life or you’d want to say “it was one hell of a ride”?
I guess what I’m trying to say is, take a chance on yourself. Of course it’s not going to be easy, of course there will be times you would think is better off to just quit your dreams because it’s probably never going to work out but it’s YOUR dream. It’s YOUR goal. It’s YOUR sprinkle of goodness that’s going to make the world better, even just a little. So, love.. love what you do, what you dream and most importantly LOVE the little magic in you!
When it comes to dating - it's the same thing. We've all heard the wise words,
"You cannot truly love another person if you cannot love yourself. And you cannot expect someone to truly love you if you cannot love yourself."
It is a cliche for a reason.
Do you love yourself enough to present yourself in the best light? There are many ways of loving yourself. But the most obvious way that people would judge you on whether you love yourself, is to see whether you present yourself in the best light, and to increase your ‘value’ in people’s eyes.
Loving yourself is looking after yourself. Loving yourself is also about putting yourself first.
Let's be kind to ourselves and practice self-love. Just like RM said at the end of his speech,
"I have many faults, and I have many more fears, but I’m going to embrace myself as hard as I can, and I’m starting to love myself, gradually, little by little."