You’ve been doing a lot of research about this. Articles, videos, books, swiping very carefully on the app. The late-night Matthew Hussey videos, Thought Catalog articles and online courses you've enrolled in have to be put in practice somehow!
All because you really want to know what works and you want to be an expert in this area. Many of your friends have found success with online dating, so why haven't you? How do you know if you’re doing it right? Maybe you’re still missing something, but you’re not sure what. Let us guide you through with this article and by the end of it, hopefully you'll be a master in online dating!
1. Choose a positive profile name.
This is no rocket science, guys. Some online dating sites still require you to select your own user name, and it's a big deal! It’s like choosing a domain site name and you’d have to think it through for hours. Or days, and that’s okay. Though you don’t have to think about a catchy name for your dating profile, something like CaraTheCutie would definitely draw more attention than DannyTheDestroyer. Choose something that would represent your personality and make others feel like you are someone they want to get to know better!
2. Writing an honest and appropriate online bio.
Here’s where you need to be completely honest with yourself. You don’t have to put every little detail about yourself, but you don’t want it to be too empty either. Best is to highlight your hobbies and interests, but leave some important bits for later. This is especially useful for a conversation starter, that is, if and when you two meet.
3. Choose your photos wisely.
Your main profile picture counts. Do you recall when you last said, “oh god, he definitely looks like a player with those abs”? Even if we’re brought up thinking that we shouldn’t ‘judge the book by its cover’, it’s natural to analyse the pictures and we’re all guilty of that. Especially when pictures is the first thing we see!
Find pictures that showcases your face clearly and avoid shirtless ones, you can start sending the latter when you’ve established some sort of connection with your match! Also, I find that pictures when you're doing an activity works better because that would create an opening for your match to start a conversation with you!
4. Start the conversation.
It’s the 21st century and it doesn’t hurt for any of you to initiate the conversation; male or female. In fact, there have been studies that show female who approach the guys first are more attractive, as it exudes confidence and that’s sexy. Anything like “how’s your day been?” could go a long way, if you just start.
5. (Actually) Read their profiles.
You don’t want to get yourself into trouble if you’ve been texting 10 girls all at the same time. If you are one of the girls, you're probably able to feel whether his messages are genuine or they are just standard, default template.
If you’re genuinely interested in chatting with someone, you’d look at their profile thoroughly (possibly even a few times) to try to come up with conversation that relates to their pictures or profiles. This would make the person appreciate you further because you’ve actually taken the time to read (which many people don’t do properly these days).
6. Enter the experience with an open mind and heart.
Just go with the flow. Whatever happens will happen. There’s a reason for everything. You’ve heard this over and over, but only because you need to know that it’s true. If the opportunity is there, take it and meet them at your desired venue and see if things would kick off well from there. Otherwise, try again. If you just enjoy the moments, you’d find that there isn’t really that much to worry about in life.
Do not put too much pressure and think that the next person you meet has to be The One. You would then only beat yourself up when the date doesn't turn out well. Rather, embrace the experience as meeting a new friend and who knows, that friend could open up new possibilities for you, even if it's not romantically.
7. Be flexible with your expectations.
You may try these online dating sites/apps because you want to meet a model-like girl, or a guy who works as a pilot. Truth is, you can. But if you only limit yourself to meet people of your preference, you may lose touch with other people who may turn out to be significant in your life. Expand your expectations and you’d find that dating that lecturer isn’t such a bad idea after all.
There are superficial criteria, and there are significant criteria. How many of your so-called preferences are superficial? How many are really significant in building a long-term relationship? It's good to reflect when you're going out on your next date!
8. Remember your apps.
Take note from number 5. This is something to be wary of if you have a few dating apps installed on your phone. There’s nothing wrong with this, but you should always be aware of who you’re chatting with, and try not to get mixed up with the names and etc. Otherwise, just stick to one app, or one guy at a time.
9. Keep it positive.
It’s still going to be a learning experience for the two of you. So keep it as light-hearted and as positive as possible, because if it’s really meant to work out for you, it will. Don’t try to pressure each other into committing something serious unless it’s really a shared decision. But always try to live in the moment, and take things as they are, be it a good or a bad one.
Dating is supposed to be fun!
10. Be yourself.
You don’t have to worry if you’re a loud and bubbly girl. Express yourself the way you want to be perceived! There’s no need for formal settings but just let loose and you’d probably be even more comfortable with each other. Have fun and just remember to live a little; life’s too short for us to be living in our worries when we already have someone we can share our happiness with.
This doesn't mean that you should wear flip flop (like you usually do on a day-to-day basis) to your first date! Be fair and kind to yourself and present the best version of yourself! It's important because you would want your date to do the same and make a bit of effort, wouldn't you?
To end this post, I just would like to firstly congratulate you for getting out there and making the first step to meet new people through online dating or dating apps. All the best!
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Good luck, readers!