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開始新戀情前給自己的兩個重要提醒


告別一段無法再發展下去的關係,又或是結束單身的日子,去與另一個人重新建立一段感情關係,可以說是令人期待的事。

但妳到底準備好了嗎? 如果把妳在愛情關係中的經歷對妳造成的影響比喻為妳背包中物件,妳會選擇先把背包掏空,還是攜帶著一堆堆未經點算的行李重新踏上旅途?

「誰沒有過去呢?」 即使妳和妳的另一半均深明這個道理,也並不代表你們的關係不會因著妳在過去感情關係中的經歷而受影響。 想確定妳的過去沒有為新的感情帶來負面影響,試試提醒自己以下兩點:

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  1. 信任考驗

所謂「經一事、長一智」,如妳曾經被欺騙,甚至被背叛過,在投入新的感情時,妳也許心裡會存在陰影。 潛意識為了避免讓自己再受傷害,妳甚至會發現自己對另一半無法投放百份百的信任,他的一舉一動總會無意間撩動妳的懷疑神經。

發生這樣的狀況,其實正表示妳心理上未完全準備好開始一段新的感情關係。但既然緣份來了,就客觀地判斷他是否一個可靠的人。 如妳有懷疑,就乾脆別急著開始。 若開始了,但又事事疑神疑鬼,其實對他是很不公平的。 要知道信任乃一段關係發展的基石。 欠缺信任,相處時雙方都會有壓力,又怎可能建立一段健康的關係呢?

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  1. 愛的表達方式

相反,妳可能比較幸運,過去並未遭受過怎麼樣的感情創傷。 但愉快的經驗,也可能會為妳帶來負面影響。 為什麼? 事實上,曾聽過不少男生抱怨,女友經常拿他跟以往的男友作比較,讓他們不好受。

妳必須提醒自己,每個人也有自己的一套表達感情的方法。 他做的跟妳以往的男友不一樣,未必代表他沒有那個他一般愛妳。 妳應先用心去重新了解現在這個他,而並非強迫他去照著別人做過的去做。 請謹記,妳的目標是發展一段長久健康的感情,而並非找一個愛的替身。


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